![]() | You are viewing Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |
Keeping myself busy has become a full-time job. With possible probation looming in the horizon and all (okay most… okay two) of my friends graduating, I still don’t know where I’m going in life- whining about which has led me to believe that I suffer from a more severe case of self-centered, indolence than I acknowledge.
Every career path that I envision myself pursuing (or getting comftably rich in) requires a dramatic change in my academic course which means the last three years are pretty much useless. And I realized another thing, a pretty important thing. All of these “choices” require hard work. They require continued interest, talent (or some level of skill in the least… or a very, very rich uncle), initiative and social networking in real life (haha… i know –_-). NONE of which sounds like something I’d be good at/want to do/like thinking about.
THIS was supposed to be the time in my life when I do things. Or at least that was the plan back when I was not 30 years old. Going places, writing, learning, contributing, indulging the closet activist in me… Instead I spend hours everyday glaring at the monitor thinking how I hate where some things (my life included) are headed. And how my having an opinion about it matters as much as a bird taking a shit in a forest.
The reason for this unwarranted regurgitation is that I am quite incapable of making any decisions regarding my future. Not only am I insouciant, unmotivated and incurably lazy, I am also not hardwired to direct my energy into something that I’ve thought up myself simply because these ideas dissolve just as quickly as they appear and I stop caring about them.
And I’ve lost the energy to continue… see what I mean? I wanted to write about some of the positive (yeah I know.. scary term) things that I experience from time to time.. Some of the ideas that verge on being creative or at least interesting. But now I feel like I’m just dragging this endless monologue about how I’m the most useless pile of carbon based molecules I know. To no consequence or melodramatic epiphany nonetheless.
…I wonder what do people who have interesting, fulfilling lives blog about.
if i was an artist (or had any talent) i’d turn my cost curves into conceptual flowers. they’d be so much more pleasing to my senses and fun to stare at!
When examining an unknown residue of unidentifiable liquid on any surface:
_Y_ Smell it
_Y_ Touch it
_N_ Taste it